How Many Men Does it Take to Repair a Stop Tap - The Water Board.

We've all heard of the saying, "How many men does it take to change a light bulb". Well here's another one for you, "How many men does it take to repair a stop tap in the pavement." I'm going to tell you.

Firstly a little history of the 3 stop valves that lay in the pavement at the entrance to our drive.The Water Board decided to replace them with 3 new one's just inches away from the old ones, meaning we now had 6 stop taps in the drive entrance. In the past year all the new ones have sprung leaks meaning the Water Board has had to dig up the drive each time, repair it and lay square of new tarmac. Last week we had a big leak with water pouring through the tarmac and down the road to a drain.

Without warning this morning 2 men arrived to put traffic control lights and associated bollards out, well that was new, we hadn't needed traffic lights here before. The problem was they didn't let us know they were coming and they couldn't contact the young lady who had been working nights and parked her car just where they wanted to control the traffic. After a long period a neighbour managed to contact the young ladies mother, she then phoned her daughter on a mobile phone to get her out of bed to move her car. (Are you counting yet - 2 men for traffic lights etc.)

An hour after these men had gone another lorry turned up with 2 different men, who dug out a large crater, repaired the leak and then spent an hour sat in the cab having a cup of tea etc. (Did I mention it was a good job we didn't want to go out as the drive was blocked.) (Still counting that's 4 men so far).

They left and myself and my neighbour did the usual thing of leaning on the barriers looking down a hole. That wasn't fair I thought, my nighbour had a nice new round stop tap and I was left with a grotty old square one.

A few hours later another big lorry arrived with a crane jib, 2 more different men got out and filled the large whole with earth, thank god it's nearly over and we can get out. No they don't deal with the tarmac, so we watched them climb into the cab and have a break. (That's 6 so far and still counting).

They left and an hour or so later a small pickup arrived with 2 different men, great the tarmac has arrived I thought, no these men put small gravel and sand on top of the work, they don't touch tarmac so they infom us and the tarmac will be replaced tomorrow. "You can drive over it now, we've been in touch with the traffic team to come and move the cones and lights". (It's up to 8 men now and I'm beginning to forget what they all looked like, should have taken a photo!!)

Tea time arrived and there was yet another lorry with 2 men who proceeded to move all the traffic control lights, bollards and cones. (OK I know it's up to 10 men now and we still haven't got the tarmac back yet).

Tomorrow we should have another 2 chaps to lay the new tarmac, should I go and tell them that the men with the gravel and sand has covered over all the stop taps and not to cover them with their stuff. (That will make a total of 12 men from the Water Board - 6 different lorries, think of how much fuel that's taken, not forgetting the hourly tea breaks.

You can get a flock of birds, a herd of cows and a swarm of bees, what does it take to repair one small stop tap, and god knows how long it will last - "A FLOOD OF WATER BOARD MEN"