The Pleasures of the Motorway Services Station, (Part 2)

After the earlier experience with the visit to the toilet, we made our way to the cafe as one does, my partner now sporting an obvious limp caused by his previous comment and the quick kick in the shin. A large brightly lit area confronted us but their seemed to be a lack of customers, that should have sparked warnings.

Grabbing a plastic tray we note with interest that you can have 2 meals for just £10.00 with a choice of : All Day Breakfast, Cottage Pie, Fish & Chips or Curry. We ordered the All Day Breakfasts and was shocked to hear from the old lady on the other side of the counter, "We don't do all day breakfast after eleven". OK we will have cottage pie then, the reply came again, "We're all out of Cottage Pie".

The curry look like the leftovers from the previous day that had been boiled up with some watery flavouring, so it was to be Fish & Chips. The old lady grabbed a plate and disappeared before returning with another unbelievable comment, "Would you mind having roast potatoes with your fish as we need to cook more chips and the shift is just changing".

We decided to give up on the meal and just ordered a couple of cheese toasties which involved the old lady removing 2 packaged sandwiches from the display and disappearing again. To be fair, she did come back and said that they would be brought to our table. Sliding the tray along to the drinks section we waited, suddenly the same small grey haired old lady appeared from behind the coffee machine, "Can I help you", she asked, then preceded to make our coffees that we ordered.

I slowly slid the tray along again only to notice the same old lady follow my every movement, like you would see in a mirror, yes I did stop and reverse a few steps just to see if she would follow, but she didn't want to play. You've got it, the same old lady was on the till and I did think I should help her up on the stole as we had become old friends by now. After several attempts at pressing the right buttons the machine burst into life as she proclaimed, "That will be £4.75 please". Now I'm no mathematician, but I noticed that the sandwiches were marked at £3.20 each so after paying I grabbed my partners coat and quickly pulled him away followed by the lady announcing, "Thank you your toasties won't be long".

After 20 long minutes I had worked out that perhaps she had got the All Day Breakfast wrong and the company instructions must have meant 11pm and not 11am. I had watched a rather fat lorry driver outside, climb on top of the cab to rotate an ariel for a TV he was watching in his break. Well I say watched the driver, in fact it was the lack of cover his trousers were giving and he kept displaying his backside, wasn't sure I wanted my toastie after that.

Your coffee's completely cold or had been consumed by the time the old lady appears with your food, "Enjoy", she smiled and proceeded to collect just a few scattered dirty dishes as she returned to the sanctuary of the counter. The congealed cheese was spread sparingly inside the first few centimeters of the curled opening and really didn't look very inviting, so it was time to make our leave.

Unfortunately, they put the trap of the shop right next to the exit and you always have to go to see what goodies are inside. The fluffy toy dog, the multitude of humourous mugs and chocolate bars so overpriced that you have to be desperate to purchase them. I noted that a box of Kleenex man sized tissues were priced at £7.60 and now realised the reason why there are no toilet rolls in the cubicles earlier. Never again is mentioned back at the car, well until the next time.