The Curse of the Customer Service Centres

Now I know we've all been there and experienced the shear frustration of the dreaded call centre, but we still use them. Well the other day I lost my broadband connection and had tried everything to get it back on line, unfortunately I still had that single red light on the front of the modem that stops you from surfing to the outside world.

No option but to dialed the customer services line which I did with trepidation and was surprised to get an instant answer, that's what I thought. Thank you for calling our dedicated help line, I'm now going to give you a few choices, 1. For Sales 2. Accounts. 3. etc. etc. Why is the choice for technical help always next to the final announcement, dial 73. To hear all the choices again.

I still remained calm and was greeted with. "Thank You, before we put you through to one of our technical staff, please enter your customer reference number using your telephone key pad". Panic set in as I throw all the paperwork out of my desk draw, I had put the phone on loudspeaker by now and heard, "Sorry I didn't get that, please enter the number again." by now I've started shouting at an automated person on the other end of the phone.

Success and I'm through to the next stage, "Thank You, all our agents are busy at the moment but you have been put in a queue and will be answered shortly", There then followed the boring music dispersed with a message that if I didn't want to wait they do have a useful Internet Question and Answer section. Again I shouted at the machine, I HAVEN'T GOT ANY INTERNET !!!

After 20 minutes I've cleaned my nails and torn my account letter into the shape of a duck, finally there is life on the other end of the line with an Indian accent calmly saying, "Hello I'm Tom, how can I help you". Now I don't wish to show any disrespect, but how is it that everyone that works in Indian call centres have English Names?

I explained my problem and was asked what the make and model of the modem was, well that's what I think he said. It's a Netgear ADSL2 was my replied, "Just hold a minute and I will look that up", replied Tom with some enthusiasm. Back on hold again followed by, "That was a ADSL2, well I've spoken to my supervisor and he said we don't deal with that model in our department, I'll just put you through to the right place". Before I could scream NOOOOOOOO I was backed to the music again and found myself on my hands and knees knocking the receiver against the waste paper bin.

I decided to go and make a coffee or bake a cake while I waited again, suddenly 20 minutes later I heard a sound on the phone and rushed to grab it, the music had stopped so all expectant I held my breath and in a second I was completely cut off and back to the dial tone.

The following day I went through all the palaver again and after another 15 minutes was put through to a nice Indian lady called Susan. Explaining my problem she ask me to check for a small black button hidden on the back of the modem, "Could you press it please and wait about a minute, then press it again, I'll hold on for you". Having nothing else to do I did as told and slowly all the 5 lights lit up GREEN, if there wasn't thousands of miles between us I would have given her a big hug, my life was back on track. Thanking her I did suggest she found Tom and tell him about the button on the back of a ADSL2.

I'm reminded of the days in the 50's and 60's when the television picture used to go distorted and buzz, Father used to get out of his chair, thump his fist on the top to make it go right, if only he had the magic button.